I got yesterday already a strange feeling, they gave us a paper with a ‘special’ schedule for today. We were informed that we would miss our hour of ‘lucht’ in the afternoon. A kind of click in my mind: maybe something to do with the demonstration that I know was planned here in Zwolle for today as action of solidarity to my situation? At 12 o’clock today I was in my cell and suddenly seven wardens opened my door and told me I have to be brought to an isolation cell and that the director of this prison would come to explain me why. So he did, he came with a paper that I’m going to allege to this letter, whereas you can read for safety reasons he decided I had to be there. (In this paper to be noted the word ‘EXTREMISTEN’) Of course he added that if I wanted to complain about his decision I could have done within three days. Well in the mean time for a while I had to be there in a very, by the way, very dirty cell, take off my clothes, wear some training suit, and of course when I asked to him, while he was forbidden me to keep my shag (good for my health?), if it was a punishment he said no. It was though the treatment was very much alike**.  They gave me some stupid magazines to help me to spend my time…. They left…. I didn’t. After a while I could hear the friendly “extremists” voice, singing, playing???? yelling although the sound was coming from very far away. I closed my eyes and I imagined and saw myself between all of you…. dancing and screaming against all this hell which is called prison. And I started to think… when I have been to a demonstration against the death penalty. I have been thinking about all talks I had with some comrades who don’t agree with the no existence of jails: “If a revolution will come and we’ll succeed to have a government organised not in a ‘vertexistic????’ way we will still be in the need of having something which looks alike the actual jails.” Otherwise what are we gone do with the ones who will be fighting our wonderful well made and new revolutionary system? “What the hell are we talking about? Is there really any difference between keeping in jails a person for all life, taking away her/his freedom, her/his dignity, her/his friends and beloved people, attempt to his/her life day by day, attempts to her/his mental and physical health day by day, for all life in this system or any other? Is there any fair difference between this or sending her/him to death? What’s a real difference between a system which decide how you have to live and where in which conditions or how you have to die. It’s not so clear for me, it’s not, really not. As I do not see the difference between the juridical and punishment system before and after the ‘revolution’. What are some of us supposed to do, to judge, to be revolutionary judges, to reform and to mould people according to our new open mind and equal society? Who are we going to replace and… why? Personally I’m not willing to replace any single role nor role of the present societies. No way, my path did not bring me here for that aim. Jails in Holland are more respectful towards the human rights? What it would have happened if today instead of singing and dancing together we would have felt (or ….????) to let our anger come out in ‘different’ way…. Today as yesterday as tomorrow…. the repression of the system is there ready to act. And it’s not because it’s consequent to the level of the danger of the conflicts. It’s already there waiting somewhere (even not so hiding place). To choose the right moment to let itself show its real identity. As long as we keep making our steps into the safe embrace of the institution’s system it’s fine. Try to fly and you will soon realise that they try to make you loose your wings. Stay in the ‘legal’ terms and you will slowly, slowly find out that your wings are unusable. I just want to say that I’m always aware concerning political topics which bring easy consensus and I think the jails issue could be one of those changing instead of eliminating, destructing.

I still believe to boycott, it’s the most effective fanciful way to deal with it, with other parallel ways in the mean time, but is the one which brings to me most of joy. I still think revolutionary process starts and comes from inside us, it’s our inner world which has to change before to be able to settle down a different, radically different way of living together. I still think I won’t complain to the proper commission of this jail (or whatever) about what happened to me today. I do not recognise any singel person who works here, any ‘collective commission’ as my referent. I still think and feel glad that you, Mr. J.Wermmeester (Pen.Unit direkteur) gave to me some time in the isolation cell instead of a branch of mimosa. Today 8 march 1998. Thanks Mr. Wermmeester. I had time enough to think that you are who you are and what you represent and I’m glad that at I share with you is just the air of this shit place. Place that you try to defend so well and so concerned about it. No confusion in my heart, no panic, see you Mr. director, see you.

For the anarchy

Paola ‘ The Terrorist’

** (Because, I guess, in case I would complain officially I could not say that I get a punishment which sounds quite bad. Word’s power!).